Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Coming War on Bacon

The Coming War on Bacon

The nanny state is the result of the perverted, Neo-Lib socialist mindset in which personal responsibility is null and void and the collective is all that matters. It would seem to be logical that they would focus on things like marijuana, heroin and the prevention of AIDS but no, bacon is a problem that must be addressed. And salt, of course. We know how damaging that can be. And sugar! That should be rationed and taxed so that the masses don't eat too much.

If they outlaw bacon I can foresee a blackmarket rising. Instead of moonshiners it will be bacon smokers. Instead of baggies of green, leafy vegetable matter it will be paper wrapped packages of bacon strips. There will be street names for the illegal bacon, of course. I can imagine conversations like, "Hey! You know where I can score some Wild Piggie for tomorrow's breakfast?" And it will be Porkers instead of Pushers.

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