"In 1998 certain parties established the 'Mark Twain Prize for American Humor' and my ego swelled greatly. It swelled even more when winners like Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby were given awards bearing my name when they were true and consummate performers of the first degree while I was but a writer who enjoyed both the craft of writing and cheap cigars. But the fates are never kind. After building me up and swelling my breast all these years they pricked my balloon with ease by nominating a basically unfunny person whose sole accomplishment was to promote a single political view in support of something that I absolutely abhorred: Political Correctness. I am now properly shamed."
The award in this instance should be announced on stage like this: "For her political correctness in support of the 20% of Americans who are left-wing ideologues, most of whom live meaningless lives in Hollywood and its environs, the Mark Twain Award for Inanity goes to..."
Enough said.
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